“They’re just going to die anyway.”

“That’s just waste of money.”

“You’re being selfish- that money could be used for something or someone else.”

Sound familiar to you? It does to me, and it’s a narrative that played out in my head every time I’d pass by bouquets of flowers, or even words that would come out of my own mouth when I’d tell my husband not to ever worry about buying them for me. I thought it was the humble thing to do. Thank the Lord Michael never listened to me on that one, because every time a birthday, anniversary, or holiday rolled around, I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I would wake up secretly expecting and longing to see those beautiful flowers in a vase on my kitchen countertop. Never in the twenty-seven years of my life up until that point did I ever spend the money to buy flowers for myself or my home.

But now? Now you’ll more often than not find fresh flowers that I was more than happy to purchase gracing our table, and I love to sit down at random moments throughout the day just to pause and linger in front of them. I used to feel guilty over such a simple pleasure, and now I rarely buy one bouquet at a time. Instead, I buy two! That way, I can always gift one to a friend to brighten up their day a bit, too.

So, why the change?

I had a very sweet friend who loved me enough to look me in the eye and tell me to buy the flowers.

And that’s what I want to do for you. I want to be the friend that looks you in the eye with a gentle smile on her lips and tells you to “just buy the flowers.”

That friend of mine’s name is RaAnda, and boy, it’s obvious to both of us how God himself brought us together. She’s the type of friend who won’t just say she’ll pray for you- she does it right then and there. She’s easy to laugh with but has also seen more of my tears than most. She’s encouraging but loves me enough to shoot me straight. And she’s the reason why my heart and home feel a little bit brighter and more beautiful when there are flowers in the house. It always brings me back to the time when I desperately needed their beauty in my life, and she was the one who pushed me to finally just buy the stinkin’ flowers.

It was 2023. Michael and I had followed God’s leading and left our sweet home in White Oak, Oklahoma, to move back to our hometown. There’s so much in hindsight that I can see now but didn’t know then. We didn’t know just how much that year would shape us, but we were about to find out. Days after we got settled into our new house, Michael’s dad passed away. That was just a few days before Michael would turn thirty. Not only were we navigating settling into a new home with our three little boys, but now we were navigating the loss of my husband’s dad. The months that followed were filled with difficult decisions and responsibilities that we never expected to face so early on in our marriage. I look back at that year and wonder how we ever were able to even come up for air, but then I look at the flowers sitting on the kitchen table, and I remember.

I remember the struggles that year. The mental, emotional, and physical struggles…but also the financial hardship that came with it. If you ask either of us what we remember most about that season, we’d both tell you we remember how our finances took a hit in a way we’d never experienced before. Now I look back on that season of life and deem it our “provision chapter.” We had never struggled so much, yet only by the grace of God, we also never lacked. There’s a passage in Matthew 6 that I had clung to for quite some time, but this was a chance for me to experience it in a very real and new way.

“Therefore, I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Consider the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Can any of you add one moment to his life span by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Observe how the wildflowers of the field grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these. If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t he do much more for you — you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore, don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34 CSB)

I remember passing by the flowers in the grocery store and thinking of how beautiful they looked, and how much joy they brought just to look at them in the middle of a season where everything felt heavy. Then, just as quickly, I remembered how I was on a strict budget and how such a purchase would feel like an unwise splurge. RaAnda was with me that day (in Sam’s Club of all places) and looked me in the eye and said, “Brentlee, just buy the flowers.” To her, it was probably just a simple statement, but to me? I can replay that exact moment in my mind over and over again, knowing that it changed something in me that day. She gave me the permission I’d been longing for to just buy the flowers. I grabbed a bouquet and put it in my cart, thankful for the authoritative way she said it, or else I would have just rambled off some of those excuses I wrote down at the beginning. Instead, before any more negative thoughts could come to my mind, I felt in my heart that this was something that I needed to do. I felt in my heart that I was supposed to view these simple flowers as a gift from my heavenly Father, and not something that I was providing on my own. So, I took them home and took care to arrange them in a vase that would stand tall on my kitchen counter. It’s almost silly how thankful and giddy I felt that day, but the simple pleasure they brought made my heart feel lighter in that moment as I quoted out loud the passage from Matthew with a smile on my face.

Looking back, it was only a year, but in that one short year, we were hit with financial hardship that we now can laugh about because of how uncanny it all felt. We had just pledged a large (to us) amount to our church for an expansion campaign that we desperately wanted to play a part in to give back to the church that has given so much to our little family over the years. Michael and I even viewed it as part of an inheritance that we would be leaving to our own kids. We knew when we gave our pledge, it would take two years of contributing from every paycheck Michael got to pay it off. And then? Everything seemed to hit us at once. The unexpected funeral bills, a house payment we could now barely meet, emergency vet bills, and unplanned medical bills. So, to choose this as the time to splurge on flowers for the first time in my life might seem really simple, but in its own way, it was an act of faith. They were a tangible representation and reminder to me of God’s promise that if we would seek Him first in everything, all the other things that were threatening to overwhelm us would be taken care of. So, the flowers became a part of my grocery list every two weeks, and I would speak out loud God’s word every time I would stop to linger in front of them. They would be beautiful reminders that we would be taken care of, and I could rest in His faithfulness and not in our circumstances.

That year, just as all seasons do, would come and then it would go. But Michael and I walked away with something better than riches could ever buy- we walked away with an unshakeable trust and knowing that God is good, that He never left us, and that He really will provide all that we need. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve looked back on that year together to remind ourselves of His faithfulness and provision every time a trial or hardship has come up (and goodness, there have been a lot). But now we have that year to look back on and remember just how sweet it is to trust in Jesus.

So how did that year end for us?

Well, the bills? Never missed one. The emergency vet back-to-back vet bills? Bonuses from Michael’s job coincided perfectly. The house we couldn’t afford? Sold that sucker for more than we paid for it after just a year of living there, and God paved the way for us to move into the sweetest little house on a hill. The campaign pledge? Fulfilled. God’s promises? Never failed. Flowers? You’ll always find them around the house, and we love taking drives out to a local flower farm on a Saturday for a couple of bouquets. RaAnda? I thank God for her every time I start to feel guilty over buying flowers and instead hear her in my head telling me to “just buy the flowers, Brentlee.”

Sweet friend, buy the flowers. Know Him in all your ways, and trust that God is good and that He will do what He says He will. He’s a really, really good Father.

“Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.“